Title: Snips and Snail and Puppy Dog Tails 1/2
Author: Gileswench
Spoilers: Anything through the end of Season five is fair game. Set after the beginning of season six, but with no specific spoilers.
Summary: When Buffy finds herself with a six year old Giles on her hands, discoveries are made and relationships change
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Buffy/Giles
Category: Romance, Humor, Angst, Smut
Disclaimer: It all belongs to Joss, Mutant Enemy, etc., etc., etc. I just let them have all the fun Joss won't. I own nothing except my twisted mind which you really don't want. Please don't sue.
Dedication: To Rari Coss who has been such a help, and such a delight 

*****

"Hallo, Ripper. Long time, no see." Giles rolled his eyes. It was so like Ethan to communicate entirely in worn out clichés. He turned to face his one-time friend.

"What are you doing here? And how quickly can I be rid of you?"

Ethan drew himself up in mock surprise.

"Is that any way to greet an old mate?"

"No. It is, however, the only rational way to greet you."

"You wound me to the core, Ripper."

"Good."

"But I rise above these petty insults," the sorcerer assured Giles with an oily grin. "I'm here to do you a favor."

"Ah yes, a favor. Of course. Would this one be anything like the last one? You remember; the time you turned me into a Fyarl demon and almost got Buffy to kill me. Thank you, but I think I'll pass on being your entertainment this time."

"Too late," Ethan laughed. "I'm already amused just watching you fume. What happened to you, Ripper? You used to be so much fun once upon a time."

Giles glared sourly over the rims of his glasses.

"I grew up, Ethan. Something you might try one day. Now if you'll kindly remove yourself from my flat, I have a shop to open."

Ethan reluctantly allowed himself to be ushered out the front door. He watched Giles retreat to the curbside and fold his long frame into the little red convertible.

"The problem with you, mate, is you grew up too bloody much."

A slow smile spread across his features.

"Maybe I can do something about that, and upset your little Slayer into the bargain."

He turned and re-entered the flat, shaking his head briefly at the fact that Giles still indulged in the dangerous habit of leaving his door unlocked after all this time. Still, it made things easier, and if there was one thing Ethan appreciated, it was things being made easier for him.

A brief inspection quickly revealed where Giles kept his magic supplies. Ethan found everything he needed right to hand. He rolled up the carpet, drew a pentagram on the floor, knelt within it, and checked his watch. Best give Ripper a few more minutes. It wouldn't do to have the spell take effect while he was behind the wheel of a car. After all, mischief was the aim this time rather than destruction. A little shake up for Giles and his pretty Slayer.

******

Anya and Xander walked hand in hand as he brought her to work. They were discussing plans for their impending wedding. It was not going well.

"An, trust me. You don't want my parents to have anything to do with this. They're drunks and they hate me. If we ask them to hold the rehearsal dinner, we'll end up with a can of cocktail weenies and a choice of cheap beer or peppermint schnapps for the masses."

"But they're supposed to do this, Xander. The magazine said."

"The magazine never met my Mom and Dad. Trust me, if they had there would be a note saying: 'Ignore this if you are marrying Xander Harris. His parents are incapable of hosting a party you want to attend.' Maybe we just shouldn't have a rehearsal dinner."

"I have a better idea," Anya said. "Let's ask Giles to do it. It would be an honor for him."

"Okay, An, we've already honored him with giving the bride away, hosting the reception, and giving you a bridal shower. Any more honors and the man's gonna go broke."

"That's ridiculous. The shop is doing very well. Giles has plenty of money. Besides, he's pretty much the only adult we know who likes us."

The girl peered around the shop as she put her purse in it's hiding place behind the counter.

"That's funny. I don't see Giles."

Xander shrugged.

"Maybe he's in the back room. I'll check."

Xander stuck his head in the training room.

"Hey Giles? You in there? Giles?"

There was no answer.

Anya frowned.

"Giles should be here. Where is he?"

"Maybe he's in the bathroom. Time and nature wait for no employee, y'know."

"Then why doesn't he answer? We've called his name several times."

"You know how repressed Giles is. He probably doesn't want to say he's taking a whizz."

"Don't be ridiculous, Xander. He's been in there far too long to be urinating. Besides, he would take his clothes with him if he was going to the bathroom."

She held up the jacket and pants of Giles' familiar pinstripe suit.

Xander swallowed hard.

"I think we'd better call Buffy."

"Yes. We have to call Buffy right away," Anya agreed as she held up a pair of bright red briefs. "I won our bet. Giles doesn't wear boxers."

A brief shudder was the only sign that Xander had heard his fiancee as he moved to the phone to call Buffy. He then called in sick to work. He was about to dial Willow's number when a small noise from the loft drew his attention.

He began to move to the ladder, but Anya held him back.

"Wait! We should wait for Buffy. It might be something that ate Giles right out of his clothes and is waiting for another snack. Buffy will be here in a minute. She can kill it then."

A tiny, frightened whimper was heard from above.

"That doesn't sound like a demon, An. That sounds like a kid."

He disengaged Anya's hand from his arm and headed cautiously up the ladder.

"Be careful, Xander," Anya whispered. "It could be a demon pretending to be a kid. Don't let it eat you up."

When he reached the point where he could see the room, Xander stopped and scanned the area. At last he saw a small figure trying to hide itself behind a bookshelf. The young man finished his climb and moved cautiously to a spot a few feet from the cowering child.

"It's okay, buddy. I won't hurt you. What's your name? Do you live around here?"

The boy shook his head violently.

"Not from these parts, huh?" Xander mused. "Can you tell me your name? If you tell me that, maybe we can find out where your parents are."

"I mustn't talk to strangers," the boy whispered. "Mummy said."

"Okay, so far I know you're English. That's a start. Tell you what, little guy, I'll tell you my name if you'll tell me yours. Deal?"

The boy seemed to shrink further into himself as he shook his head again.

"Mummy said," he repeated.

"And we know you're a stubborn little guy. And I seem to have just figured out you're buck naked. Where the hell are your clothes?"

The boy began to sniffle dangerously.

"Oh God, please don't cry, kid. I'll do anything." Xander rummaged in his shirt pocket and pulled out a slightly crumpled candy bar. "I'll give you this if you just don't cry."

The child's eyes showed clearly the torture he was feeling. He wanted the sweet, but it was obviously forbidden. At last he shook his head again.

"Can't."

"What? Oh, let me guess; your Mummy won't let you take candy from strangers, either. Tell you what. I'll eat half of this and you can have the other half. That way you know I didn't put anything bad in it, okay?"

The child chewed his lip and stared at the candy bar as he struggled to make his decision. At last he regarded Xander with solemn eyes that seemed far too old and nodded.

Xander broke the candy in half with equal solemnity and popped half into his mouth. When he had swallowed it, he handed the other half to the little boy who waited and watched a further moment before eating his half. Even then, he took tiny nibbles rather than stuffing it in his mouth.

He'd barely swallowed the last crumb when the door of the shop flew violently open.

"Where's Giles?" Buffy asked. "What happened to him?"

'We don't know," Anya told her. "But Xander's up in the loft with a kid. If we can get him to talk, maybe he knows something. Oh, and you owe me ten dollars; see?"

Anya held up the red underwear for Buffy to see.

"Those are Giles'?" she managed. She shook her head. "Never mind. Where's this kid?"

"Pretty lady."

Buffy looked up to the loft only to see a small boy regarding her over the railing. She smiled at him.

"Well, aren't you the budding Don Juan? What's your name?"

The boy shook his head, this time with less certainty.

"Mummy said I mustn't talk to strangers."

"And she's right. You shouldn't, most of the time. But once in a while, you have to."

All the while she spoke to the little boy, Buffy was climbing the ladder to the loft. When she reached the top, she sat cross legged on the floor and looked him right in the eye. She opened her mouth to speak again, then clamped it shut and looked harder. The child's eyes were a murky green. The left one had an odd amber patch to the iris.

"Giles? Ohmigod, Giles is that you?"

******

Half an hour later, Buffy sat with a blanket clad Giles on her lap. Xander had called Willow and Tara and then gone in search of appropriate clothing for a small boy. Now the four young women sat around the tarot table discussing possible solutions to the problem. "So he was like this when you found him?" Willow asked.

"Yes. He was hiding in the loft all tiny and naked," Anya agreed.

Little Giles flushed and hid his face in Buffy's bosom.

"Stop it, guys; you're embarrassing him. And when you embarrass him, he does embarrassing things to me."

She looked down at the small face pressed against her cleavage. A pair of big green eyes peeked up shyly at her.

"I like you. You're pretty," he told her.

Buffy couldn't repress a laugh.

"I like you, too," she assured him and dropped a small kiss on his tousled brown curls.

Giles blinked owlishly at her, then smiled and threw his tiny arms around her neck, dropping his blanket in the process. Willow, Tara, and Anya all laughed at the sight.

"Come on, guys. It's not that funny."

"Sure it is, Buff," Willow said. "Who knew Giles was such a flirt when he was a little kid? Besides, he has a cute tushie."

"I never thought he would be such an exhibitionist," Anya added.

"Anyway, he's only flirting with Buffy," Tara observed. "That's nice."

"Great," Buffy grumbled. "The only guy on the planet who wants me around and he won't even hit puberty for another six or seven years. Or, we'll get him back to his right age and he'll be too stuffy to even give me a hug. Not that...I would want...I mean..."

"It's okay, Buff," Willow said. "We get you."

"I wish I did," Buffy mumbled under her breath as she did her best to turn pages and hold onto Giles. He'd begun to squirm in a fairly impressive manner. At last he whispered something in Buffy's ear.

"Can't you hold it until Xander gets back?" she asked.

Giles shook his head with a slightly panicked look on his face.

"Okay, Giles. It's right over here."

Buffy led him to the bathroom.

"Can you do it yourself? Do you need help?"

The withering glare he shot her was so familiar, yet so funny, she barely managed to keep her composure.

"Okay, okay, you can do it yourself. I was just asking."

She held the door open for him and switched on the light.

"Okay, lock the door and I'll wait for you."

Giles' eyes went wide with panic.

"No!" he shouted. "No! I won't lock it!"

Buffy dropped to her knees and took the trembling child in her arms.

"Shh, it's okay. You don't have to lock it. Hell, leave the door open if you want," she told him. She pulled back and took his thin shoulders. "I'll be right here. There's nothing to be scared of."

The tears that had been brimming in his eyes finally overflowed and Buffy pulled him back into her arms. She could feel Giles trying to compose himself against her shoulder.

She rubbed the small back to offer comfort as she spoke to him.

"Go ahead and cry if you need to. It's okay."

Giles stiffened and pulled back, swiping at his eye with the backs of his hands.

"It's not brave to cry. I have to use the loo."

He pushed the door until it was open the merest crack before going about his business. Buffy remained on her knees next to the door. She felt rather than heard Willow approach.

"Is he okay?"

Buffy shook her head.

"No he's not. I never knew how not okay he was until just now. Will, he's scared to death of locked doors. He can fight demons and let me beat the crap out of him day after day and even stand up to the Council, but he's scared of locking the door." She turned large eyes to her friend. "What happened to him, Will? Whatever it was must have been terrible."

"Maybe you're reading a little too much in here, Buff. I mean, this is six-year-old Giles. Grown up Giles does all that brave stuff, but this is just a little kid. When I was six, I was scared of some pretty weird stuff. Like, I thought that when I went to sleep, my teddy bear grew fangs and was going to eat me up if I didn't tie him up in the rocking chair before I went to bed. Now tying things up at bedtime is more of a recreational thing, which, I sort of hope you don't think about too much..."

"Way too much information, Will. But this isn't just a kid thing. Giles never locks his door, ever. I've waltzed into his place at three in the morning and never needed a key."

"He's English, Buffy. Maybe they aren't as into locking stuff up as we are."

"He's lived here almost five years. That's not being English. That's being either really dumb, which we know he's not, or really, really scared. The only thing I've ever seen scare him this much before was Eyghon. He didn't do magic for, like, twenty years after that. What could be so bad that he still won't lock the door after more like forty years?"

The bell above the front door rang to announce Xander's return.

"Okay, I really hope this works. My cousin Lisa has a kid about mini G's size. You have no idea what I went through to get these. Lisa's going to sing a solo at the wedding."

He dropped a pile of clothing on the table.

"I thought you said she had a voice like a water buffalo with adenoids," Anya objected.

"She does. Sorry, honey, but she's letting loose with Sunrise, Sunset on our big day. There was no escape."

"Well that's just great," Anya grumbled tearily. "The wedding will be ruined."

"Don't worry, Anya," Tara soothed her. "Maybe Willow and I could find a spell to give her laryngitis. Right, honey?"

"Hey, I'm on board with this plan," Willow said.

"You'd do that for us?" Anya asked.

"I'm Jewish. Do you have any idea how many bad renditions of that song I've had to sit through at weddings? If I hear it one more time, I may just barf."

"And we can't have the Best Person barfing at the altar, can we?" Xander said.

"Speaking as Maid of Honor, I'm all for a barf-free altar," Buffy agreed. She turned to see little Giles coming out of the bathroom. "Did you wash your hands?"

He shook his head.

"Can't reach."

"Xander will help you, and then he'll get you dressed, okay?"

"Couldn't you do it, please?"

Buffy felt her heart melt at his trust in her. Then it dropped when she thought of all the times she'd betrayed that trust. Never again, she decided. She picked up the bundle of clothing and led Giles back to the bathroom.

"Sure I can. Anything you want."

******

Ethan made himself comfortable on the sofa with a glass of single malt and some pate and fruit he'd found in the fridge. Ripper could be counted on to have a few good things on hand no matter how Spartan an existence he liked to live. That and good music, Ethan mused as he listened to the well-known, well-loved strains of Tales Of Brave Ulysses.

What's more, Ripper's robe was warm, toasty, and long enough for Ethan. And that fire was positively blissful in the unexpected fall cold snap.

The one thing missing was a woman, Ethan decided. still, an operator like Ripper could be counted upon to have a little black book somewhere and it would take those kids ages to figure out how to undo the spell. He had the time.

******

Willow closed yet another book with a sigh and a thump. "Nothing. There's even more nothing in this one than there was in the last one."

"Give it up, Will," Xander said from where his head slumped against the table. "We got plenty of nothing, but that's all we have. We're never gonna fix this one."

Tara moaned as her book slid shut.

"I think I already read this one."

"If Giles doesn't become old again soon, does that mean I own the shop?" Anya asked. The others glared at her. "Hey, I'm just asking!"

Willow crossed the room and opened the door of the training room. She smiled softly at the sight presented to her.

Buffy sat on the sofa with little Giles stretched out asleep, his head in her lap. She stroked his hair as he slept. Willow moved to close the door and return to her original place at the tarot table until Buffy spoke quietly.

"Will? Would you come here a minute?"

The redhead closed the door softly and moved to her friends' side.

"Yeah, Buff?"

"You guys haven't found anything, right? To make Giles...Giles again?"

"No. But we're still looking. There could be something we just didn't find yet. We can't give up hope. There's been lots of times when we couldn't find anything for days or even weeks, but we've always found something in the end."

"I know." Buffy was quiet for a moment as she stroked the curly brown head in her lap. "I never knew he had curly hair. Not really. He must blow dry it like crazy to keep it straight. Why do you think he does that?"

"I dunno, Buff. Maybe he doesn't like it curly."

"And I never really noticed before how much he doesn't like walls and doors and stuff. I mean, he's a real private guy, but he doesn't even have a door on his bedroom. When I think of what I could have walked in on..."

"When? When could you have walked in on that?"

"Anytime really. But I guess I really came close once. That was how I found out about Olivia. I went to Giles for help and there she was in his kitchen in his shirt."

"When was that? You never said you, y'know, saw that."

"That whole thing with Sunday. Giles told me to go grow up and deal for myself and I spent months proving in the most childish and ineffectual way that I could. Or more like I couldn't. I was so mad at him. And at her. And now I think about what I could have walked in on...well, it makes me feel really weird."

"Yeah, that's a pretty wigsome thought," Willow agreed. "I mean, I know guys his age - his real age - do that and everything, but it's sorta like thinking about your parents doing it, y'know?"

Buffy glared at her friend.

"Thanks so much for bringing that aspect up. But that's not the part that's wigging me."

"So what is wigging you?"

Before Buffy could answer, little Giles stirred. He yawned widely and blinked his eyes open as he sat upright.

"Hey, guy," Buffy said. "Have a nice nap?"

"Yes," he replied rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "Can I see the swords now?"

Willow's eyes widened.

"Buffy, you didn't say he could -"

"No, Will. We're not gonna fight. Even I know better than to arm a six year old boy with a real sharp thing. I just said I'd show them to him. I won't let him hold them or anything."

"Oh, okay, that's not nearly as alarming as I thought it was gonna be. So I guess I'll go back and keep looking for a way to get Giles back to being Giles."

Giles pursed his lips and glared from one girl to the other in a manner both recognized so perfectly as their Giles that they nearly burst out laughing.

"I wish you would stop calling me that," he told them. "My name is Rupert."

Buffy ruffled his hair.

"Cranky."

Pulling away sharply, Giles tried to smooth the unruly mop of curls.

"Looks like somebody doesn't want to look at the pirate swords, after all," Buffy began.

"No, please, I'll be good. I promise."

At the sight of Giles' genuine distress, Buffy relented.

"Alright, but no touching, okay? Hands behind your back."

Giles immediately obeyed. Willow grinned.

"Gee, Buff; you've got him better trained than he ever had you trained."

Buffy shrugged.

"I think it's an English thing. There's something in the water that makes them all stand quietly in line."

"Then you'd better watch out, or import some English water. Pretty soon, he'll be like an American kid."

"Just find a way to get him back to normal before that happens, okay?"

Willow giggled slightly as she left the room. Behind her she could hear Buffy carefully telling Giles the very things he had once told her about the construction and origin of the sword in her hands. Then she sighed.

Tara met her and pulled her close.

"What's wrong?"

"It's just...sometimes life is really unfair. I'm watching Buffy with Giles, kid Giles, and she's really great with him. She'd make a terrific mother, but she'll probably never get the chance."

"She is getting a chance. She's raising Dawn, and now she's taking care of Giles until we get him back to being a grown up. Maybe it's not the usual thing, but she's doing it. It seems to make her happy."

"It's funny how Giles likes her best even when he's a kid."

"Not so funny," Tara said. "They have to put a lot of trust in each other in their work. That kind of trust transcends almost anything."

"I guess you're right. Tara, is it bad of me to hope we don't figure out how to change Giles back too soon? He's just such a cute kid."

"Should I be jealous?"

"Nah. Not really. He's still a guy and I'm not into guys that way now, but..."

"But what?"

"He has the cutest little boy tushie."

The two witches laughed and kissed.

******

It had taken Ethan more than an hour to find the precious slender phone book. While Giles never locked a door to save his life, he kept his secrets close to his chest. Any space he inhabited was certain to have some secret drawer, cupboard, or recess in which he carefully hid things of great import to him. Even the bloody high school library had nooks Ethan was certain the children never saw.

He'd finally discovered the false bottom in one of the desk drawers. Once it was located, it wasn't difficult to figure out how to spring the mechanism. Inside, there had been a few papers of the sort Giles obviously didn't care to share with his little class - stock certificates, a few hopelessly sentimental letters to the rotten tribe to be distributed if and when, a truly laughable excuse for a will, and this little notebook of phone numbers.

Ethan flipped the pages with a thrill of predatory delight. He remembered well the sort of bird Ripper had always managed to pick up. They were always classy, always drop-dead gorgeous, and always...imaginative. Certainly there would be someone well up to the Ripper standard in this book.

Picking a number at random, Ethan dialed.

******

"Come on, Rupert," Buffy encouraged him.

The small boy stubbornly shook his head.

"I don't live here. I'm not meant to be here."

Buffy knelt before him and held his shoulders.

"Look, you can't be by yourself, and we don't know where your parents are. You like me, right?"

He nodded solemnly.

"Then it's okay. I like you, too, y'know. Besides, you can watch TV and I have a couple more pirate swords you can look at. Would you like that?"

"Real pirate swords?"

"As wielded by Long John Silver himself," Buffy assured him. Her face showed no trace of the amusement she felt at little Giles' obsession with pirates and swords. She decided that he hadn't really changed so very much after all.

Little Giles grinned dangerously.

"I'd like to see more pirate swords. Can I hold one?"

"May I. And no, you may not. But maybe you could watch a movie. Would you like that?"

His eyes lit up.

"We're going to the cinema?"

"No. I was thinking more VCR, sofa, Jiffy Pop...and you don't have any idea what I'm talking about, do you? Look, just trust me. We can watch movies at home. It'll be fun."

Buffy took the small, slightly sticky hand in her own and led Giles into her house. She cursed Xander mentally for giving Giles three candy bars over the course of the day. Sure, they'd kept him quiet for minutes at a time, but the hours of sugar high that followed had been wearing for the gang.

Now all the Slayer wanted was a couple hours hanging out followed by some nice, restful slayage.

******

Xander, Anya, Willow, and Tara sat at their table to the back of The Bronze. "Do you think we did the right thing? Sending Giles home with the Buffster?"

"What else were we gonna do, Xand?" Willow asked. "Anyway, he likes her and he trusts her. I think it'll be okay."

"She's done a good job with Dawn," Tara added.

"Yeah, but what does Buffy know about little boys? And how do you think Giles will feel when he gets back to normal and figures out Buffy was the one dressing and undressing him and cleaning up after him when he...y'know...misses."

"Misses?"

"Will, he's six. His aim probably isn't that good yet."

"You mean...oh. With...that part of him. That's gonna really embarrass him."

******

Buffy fumed as she scrubbed at the bathroom floor.

"I don't get it. You're a guy. You have something to aim with. How the heck did you miss the john completely?"

She glared at Giles where he stood shifting his weight uneasily from one foot to the other. Immediately, her expression softened.

"It's okay, Rupert. I know you didn't mean to. Accidents happen. Look, the floor's clean now, so why don't we clean you? Would you like a nice bubble bath?"

One look at his face made it clear that a bubble bath was not the same sort of bliss to a little boy as it is to a young woman.

"Sorry, guy, but I need to get you clean."

Giles set his feet very firmly where he stood and jutted his little chin defiantly.

"Don't want a bath."

"Tough. You're having one anyway."

He glared up at her.

"You can't make me."

Buffy couldn't resist laughing.

"Yesterday, maybe not, but today I'm almost twice your size. And y'know what? I think I'm loving that."

She picked up her squirming, furious mentor, removed his soiled clothing, and plopped him into the tub. He glared daggers at her, but remained where he was.

"You're mean."

"And you're just as stubborn as a kid as you are as a man. Now, do you want to smell like strawberries or mango?"

******

"Dawn, stop staring."

"I wasn't," she began. "Okay, I kinda was, but it's funny..."

"Rupert is our guest. We don't look at him like he's a circus freak."

Giles used his fingers to help guide the massive heap of macaroni and cheese he'd scooped onto his fork into his mouth. A large glop fell into his lap with a soggy plop.

"Even if he has the manners of one."

Buffy sighed and wiped up the cheese that had fallen on the edge of the table.

"Look, Dawn, I have Slaying to do tonight. Can you keep an eye on Rupert for a couple hours?"

"Does that mean I get to skip my homework?"

"Not a chance, baby sister. And I want him clean and in bed by eight thirty. Got it?"

"Got it, got it. I hear and obey, already."

"That's what I like to hear. I'll just do a quick sweep and head back early."

******

After three quiet cemeteries, Buffy decided to quit early and head to The Bronze. If she was lucky, the gang would still be there. When she walked in, Willow waved to her from the back. Buffy waved back, ordered a mocha and headed over to her friends.

"Hey guys," she said. "I have a question. How do some mothers handle it without caffeine?"

"So Giles is keeping you on your toes?" Xander hazarded.

"He's a perpetual motion machine. And he gets into everything. He had an exciting half hour with my makeup case, followed by an exciting half hour at the bathroom sink. He fights dirty, too. He tried to bite me a couple times."

"I never thought Giles would be a biter," Anya mused.

"I can't tell you about grownup Giles, but kid Giles is. And that's not the only thing I found out about him today."

"What else did you find out?" Willow asked, hoping desperately that is was something less embarrassing.

"He is definitely not Jewish."

******

Ethan smiled and tightened the drawstring on Giles' pajama pants. He knew he was in good trim for a man of fifty. He just wished Ripper had a few more clothes with...some style. Not that he could wear many of them anyway. Giles had always been of a slightly beefier build. But the silk pajamas and the wonderfully comfortable robe were adjustable.

Now all he had to do was wait for the arrival of the no doubt delectable Connie. Her voice over the phone had sounded warm and sensuous. A voice that called for champagne. Luckily, there had actually been an unopened bottle in the fridge. Ethan wondered idly who it had been there for. Never mind. He felt sure Connie was the perfect one to share it with.

******

When Buffy got home, she knew there was trouble before she'd even set foot on the porch. She could hear high-pitched shrieks from inside. With a quick prayer that nobody had called the cops, she hurried inside.

Giles stood in the middle of the living room howling at the tops of his tiny lungs while Dawn frantically offered him anything and everything she could think of to calm him down. Buffy raced to the hysterical child, scooped him up in her arms and sat him in her lap on the couch.

She rocked Giles and stroked his hair as he cried, burying his face in her shoulder.

"Shhhh, it's okay, Rupert. Nobody's going to hurt you. You're safe."

Buffy continued to murmur comforting nonsense while Giles cried himself out, occasionally gurgling that he wanted his mummy. At last, Giles was too exhausted to cry anymore. Buffy patiently held him as he fell asleep in her lap. Even then, she held onto him and continued to stroke his curly head. At last she turned steely eyes to Dawn.

"What the hell happened here?" she demanded quietly.

"I don't know. I was reading to him and he just went all wiggy on me."

Buffy held out her hand and Dawn brought her the book.

"Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone? Why would that freak him?"

"Beats me," Dawn said. "I thought he likes books and he likes magic so maybe he'd like a book about magic. Then when I started reading, he just...freaked."

"What were you reading? What was going on in the story?"

"Well, the Dursley's were being mean to Harry..."

"In English for those of us who are waiting for the movie to hit video."

"Okay, Harry's this little boy and he lives with his really mean relatives, the Dursleys, who make him sleep in the cupboard under the stairs and sometimes they lock him in..."

"Dawn! I told you, he's scared of locked doors. What were you thinking?"

"Anyway, he started screaming he wanted his mommy and where was she and he needed to help her. I told him she wasn't here and he went even more nuts. I never knew Giles could be that loud."

With a withering stare at her sister, Buffy rose.

"I'm taking Giles to bed now. Thanks for traumatizing him for me."

She decided to take Giles to her own room. He was frightened and she didn't want him to wake in the night alone in a strange place. When she was changing his clothes, he stirred slightly. He blinked up at her sadly.

"I want my Mummy," he told her.

"I know the feeling, little guy," she replied. She absently stroked his cheek for a moment. She marveled at how soft it was. On a whim, she bent down and kissed his forehead. "I can't be your Mummy, but I'm here for you. I always will be. Whether you're taking care of me, or I'm taking care of you, that's a promise. Got that?"

He nodded and sniffled.

She smiled and got a tissue. She helped him blow his nose.

"Better?"

He nodded again.

"Good. I'm just going into the bathroom to change my clothes, okay? I'll be right here with you all night."

She picked up her pajamas and headed for the door. A shaky breath from Giles stopped her.

"I'll just be a minute. It's okay, really."

He looked unconvinced. After a moment's deliberation, Buffy went to the shelf and pulled down her beloved stuffed pig.

"Here. This is Mr. Gordo. I was even younger than you when I got him. He's very brave, and he'll protect you and keep you company when I'm not here. Okay?"

Giles clutched the toy to his chest.

"Is he really mine?"

"For as long as you want."

He looked oddly at the pig. Then he reluctantly held it out to Buffy.

"Father wouldn't want me to."

"Is your father here?"

"No."

"Then it'll be our little secret. I promise not to tell if you don't."

Giles smiled broadly and hugged Mr. Gordo again. Buffy smiled back and went into the bathroom.

When she got back, Giles had fallen back to sleep, still holding onto the pig as if for dear life. Buffy pulled back the blankets and crawled in behind Giles. She tucked them both in, kissed his soft little cheek, and wrapped an arm around him protectively.

"Sweet dreams, little guy," she whispered.

******

Part 2