Title:  Closure - Parts 1 and 2
Author:  Michelle
Email:  mrsdrake@sff.net
Rating:  FRM (Mature Persons)
Pairing:  Buffy/Giles
Summary:  Much needed closure for all after the final battle.
Setting:  set after season seven
Disclaimer:  These are not my characters.  They belong to Joss, Twentieth Century Fox, UPN, WB & Mutant Enemy.  This is purely for fun.

Note:  This is written for ladyforash as part of the allthejellies angstathon.  At her request Anya didn’t die.  “The Parting Glass” is a traditional Irish song, usually sung at the end of a gathering.

************

No one knew where they were going.  It didn’t matter, anyway.  He wouldn’t be with them for much longer.  For now, he hoped to find a place for them to settle down and rebuild.  It would be difficult.  With the number of young girls that traveled with them, strings would have to be pulled, favors cashed in, identities changed - all to avoid suspicion.  He would help as much as possible before he left.

Giles watched Buffy from his seat at the front of the school bus.  She moved around, talking to each of the girls, comforting them - a hug for one, whispered words to another.  It was like watching an angel.

Once, not long ago, these girls wouldn’t have trusted her.  She had taken them to Hell and back, and they had saved the world.  That had earned her their trust and respect.  Now they expected more from her, needed more from her, and she gave what was needed.  She would never admit it, but Giles knew she loved those girls and would give her life for any of them.

“There.”  Anya’s voice interrupted his thoughts as her arm blocked his view.  “That looks like a good place.”

He looked out the window and sighed.  “We can’t stop here,” he protested.

“Why?  Because this is the same place I had my little talk with the First Slayer?” Buffy asked, sitting down next to him.

“Yes, exactly,” he answered.  “Buffy, this is sacred ground.”

“What better place to hold a memorial service?  We need to do this for them.”  She gestured to the girls behind her.  “They need closure.”

He looked into her eyes and knew she wouldn’t take no for an answer.  “Very well.”

************

As night fell, they gathered around the bonfire, forming a circle.  They all held at least one item, an object belonging to someone lost during their vigil on the Hellmouth.  Each of the new Slayers held something from the ones that had died in the last year.  Giles knew Dawn, Buffy and their friends would have brought items for Kendra, Joyce, Tara, Spike, and Andrew.  He brought with him what they wouldn’t have thought to bring.

Giles looked at what he held in his hands, a handkerchief Jenny had given him, a lock of Buffy’s hair, and a piece of cloth torn from Ben’s shirt.

He looked to Willow and Faith standing to his left, then to Xander and Anya to his right, making sure everything was ready.  As Willow threw the first item into the fire, he began to sing.  It was an old song without words.  No words were necessary.  The song itself conveyed the grief they all felt.  One by one, they all stepped forward and cast their items into the fire.  Some of them joined the singing for a short while as the grief overcame them.  The song rose and fell as voices joined and dropped out seemingly at random, until only Giles’ voice remained as he added his offering to the fire.  As his voice trailed off to nothing, so did the fire, leaving them to stand in the silent darkness.  One by one, they left the circle and walked to the safety of the bus.

************
      Part 2
************

Giles looked around as he entered the bus, the near silence almost unbearable.  He had expected to hear crying, or maybe even quiet voices soothing each other.  There were only silent tears as they leaned against each other for support.  Each of them had someone to comfort them.  Willow had Kennedy, Xander had Anya, Faith had Robin, and Buffy had Dawn.  He felt like an intruder.

Quietly, he slipped into a seat - alone.  They probably didn’t even notice him.  As he tried to get comfortable, his leg hit something on the floor.  He bent down and was surprised by what was tucked between the seats.  It was his guitar.  He thought he’d lost it.

As he opened the case, a voice quietly said, “We found it just before - we found it and brought it along.  We kinda thought you’d want it.”

“Xander, thank you.”  Giles caressed the guitar inside the old velvet lined case.  “I never expected to see it again.”

“It was in the Magic Box.  I guess Buffy or Dawn took it home.  It was in their attic.”

“Thank you,” he repeated as he began closing the lid.

“You should sing,” Anya blurted out.

“Anya,” Xander warned.

“What?  He has a pleasant voice.  I’d like to hear him sing.  I’m sure the others wouldn’t mind.”

Reluctantly, Giles agreed.  It was easier than arguing with Anya.  He took the guitar from its case.  When he began tuning, the girls from the back crept forward until they were all gathered around, some sitting, some standing.  They all looked at him expectantly.

He was silent a moment before he began.

Of all the money ere I had, I spent it in good company,
And all the harm I've ever done, alas it was done to none but me
And all I've done for want of wit, to memory now I can't recall
So fill to me the parting glass, goodnight and joy be with you all.

Goodnight and joy be with you all.

He’d kept his eyes closed while singing, afraid to look at any of them.  When he opened his eyes, everyone had moved away, except Buffy.  She stood next to his seat.

“Wow, Giles,” she said quietly as she wiped tears from her eyes.  “I had no idea.  I’ve heard you sing, but not like that.”

“Buffy, you don’t have to-” he began.

“I know, but I didn’t know you could put so much into one song.”  She put her hand on his arm.  “It wouldn’t hurt to let them see you grieve, too.”  She looked back at the girls.  “Have you cried for any of the Slayers we lost?”

He looked at her as she turned her eyes back to him.  “I cried for you,” he said quietly.

Buffy stared at him silently before whispering, “I never knew.  Why didn’t anyone tell me?  Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t know how to tell you, Buffy.  There was so much happening.”  His eyes fell away from hers.  He was relieved when she didn’t press the issue.  He wasn’t ready to have that discussion with her, at least not on a bus full of Slayers.

After a moment of silence, Buffy said, “I know you feel their loss too.  I heard it in your voice when you sang.  You might feel better if you cried.”

“I don’t have any tears left.”

Buffy nodded and gave him a half smile.  “I understand, but at least talk to them, Giles.  You saved their lives.  Let them know you care,” she said softly.

“A Watcher shouldn’t-” he began.

Buffy cut him off.  “When has that stopped you before?”  She took his guitar from his hands and pulled him to his feet.  “Go.”

So he went and talked to the girls and discovered that he still had tears to shed.  All the while, he could feel Buffy watching him.

continued in part 3