Need
By Boo
Title: Need
Rated: R
Category: Drama
Disclaimer: Like you’d think for a moment that these characters were mine. Just having fun while Joss isn’t looking.
Spoilers: Takes place right after - and I mean right after - the S6 episode Dead Things. There are no spoilers for any episodes after Dead Things.
Distribution: You want it, take it. Just let me know.
Feedback: Yeah, ya say you’re goin’ call but ya never do. Swanrvr80@aol.com
Dedication: For Soupytwist.
PART THREE
"Buffy?" repeated Tara. "Hey, are you okay?"
"Huh? Oh, um, yeah. Yeah, I'm...I must've dozed off," shrugged Buffy, her face turning red. "Sorry about the, uh, well, the pressing of the nose and, um, you know...the nose pressing."
Tara smiled and sat down on the bed next to her.
"Trying to say you were sticking your nose where it didn't belong?" teased Tara.
Buffy rolled her eyes and smiled.
"It was a really intense dream. And it was so real," sighed Buffy, shaking her head.
"Wanna tell me about it?" offered Tara.
"I don't know," cringed Buffy. "It's kinda embarrassing."
"Embarrassing but real. Was it a prophetic dream? Oh, Willow told me about those. Have you had one since..."
Tara trailed off and looked away but Buffy touched her arm and made her look up.
"Since I came back? No. But I don't think it was one of those type dreams. It was...well, you know...I mean, I'm sure you've had them before, right?" hinted Buffy.
Tara stared at her blankly with her mouth slightly open.
"Okay, think Meg Ryan coming out of the shower in only a towel, but the towel comes undone and falls off," said Buffy, scrunching up her face.
"Oh! You mean..."
"Yeah," laughed Buffy.
"A sexual dream," smiled Tara.
Buffy nodded.
"Buffy...you were fantasizing about Meg Ryan?"
"Huh? Oh, no! I don't...I mean, not about girls...not that there's anything wrong with...no, I was just trying to..."
"I get it," winked Tara.
Buffy frowned and shook her head, causing Tara to laugh.
"Sorry, I couldn't resist," said Tara, covering her mouth with one hand.
"Tara?"
"Yes?" smiled Tara.
"Do I need to remind you that I have Slayer strength?" glared Buffy.
Tara bit her lip to keep from laughing.
"Is it raining out? Your hair is wet," said Buffy.
"Oh, no. I showered but I was running late so I came right over without drying my hair," explained Tara. "Oh, I must look...Buffy, what if I run into Willow? I don't want her to see me like this."
"You look fine. Trust me, you can go the sackcloth and ashes route and Willow would drool. Still..."
Buffy reached behind her and handed Tara a baseball cap.
"Take this. Riley left it here and I don't wear it much anyway. Oh, and I think Willow likes hats, too," smiled Buffy.
"Thanks," replied Tara, adjusting the cap on her head. "Buffy, I can't stay long. Why did you want to see me? You said something happened?"
Buffy took a deep breath and nodded at her.
"I had a dream last night, like...like the one you just walked in on," said Buffy, uncomfortably folding her hands in her lap.
"Go on," encouraged Tara.
"I wouldn't be worried about it except that they're so real. That and, um, well, I don't know how I feel about...this person," said Buffy, glancing at Tara. "I thought I knew but...he has feelings for me and, and I'm not sure how to deal with that. And see, it's not like I'm just watching what's going on. I'm an active participant, I can decide what happens, like I'm awake, you know? And I guess...I guess..."
"Buffy, it's normal to have these dreams," said Tara, putting a hand on Buffy's leg.
"It is?" asked Buffy weakly.
"Sure. You're in a new relationship and you have all these conflicting feelings. Of course your subconscious is going to try to figure things out," shrugged Tara.
Buffy pouted, unconvinced.
"I know you feel guilty about having these feelings, that you think it's wrong," said Tara.
Buffy raised her eyebrows slightly.
"And I'm not sure why these dreams are so real to you, but you being an active participant just tells me that you want control over something that you have no control over," said Tara.
"I do? Okay, yeah, that makes sense and everything but..."
Tara reached up and held Buffy's hand.
"Buffy. It's okay and it has nothing to do with coming back wrong. We're talking about very primal, basic emotions here, about pleasure and need. We don't choose to fall in love, it just happens. And sometimes the other person doesn't feel the same way. That doesn't make it wrong, for either person."
"I guess," agreed Buffy reluctantly.
"Can you put aside any preconceived notions about him, ignore for a moment what anyone else might think about this relationship and, honestly, tell me if he would make you happy?" asked Tara.
"I...I don't know. It all just happened so fast," sighed Buffy.
"He is cute, though I'm not the best judge of that, am I?" smiled Tara.
"What?"
"Spike. He's not my type, if you know what I mean," said Tara, still smiling.
Buffy stood up and walked over to her dresser. Keeping her back to Tara, she focused on the photograph of Giles.
"Tara, it wasn't..."
And she remembered his words, how Giles wanted Buffy to tell everyone about what had happened. Had almost insisted. But she also remembered the wounded look on his face, the anguish.
"In the dream, it wasn't..." whispered Buffy, resisting the urge to raise her hand and touch his face.
"It wasn't what, Buffy?" asked Tara. Buffy turned and faced her.
"Nothing. I'm just being silly. You know how all your fears and worries seem so much bigger at night? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have made you come all the way over here," grimaced Buffy. "The dreams were so vivid I was afraid maybe someone was using a spell and I couldn't have Willow check that out, what with her addiction and, and so of course I thought of you and I really need to stop and take a breath!"
Tara smiled and shook her head.
"Hey, I said that anytime you needed to talk, all you had to do was call," reassured Tara, standing up.
"I know. Thanks. Hey, it could be worse, right? I could be having nightmares instead of dreams! Dreams so clear and lucid that I remember taking off my top and when I woke up this morning it was on the floor!" laughed Buffy.
Tara didn't laugh. She first seemed confused, then worried.
"And he said to...he said...wait a minute. How did he know? How did he know that you were coming over here?" asked Buffy nervously. "I never mentioned it."
"Um...huh?"
"He..."
Buffy took a breath to calm herself.
"He said to tell you about us, to tell all the others. He wanted you to know."
Tara smiled. Buffy didn't notice but she actually looked relieved.
"Buffy, first of all, I already knew. And don't you see? It's you who wants everyone to know. Keeping this secret is stressing you out. You knew I was coming over. Your subconscious is trying to deal, that's all."
"Oh. Yeah, that makes sense," nodded Buffy, suddenly embarrassed.
"Unless...," began Tara, her eyes quickly opening wide. "Buffy, did he try to kiss you? In your dream, I mean. Did you kiss him?"
"No. Why?" asked Buffy.
"Um, it's nothing. No, no it may be something. But I need to research something first. Just promise me you won't kiss him. In your dream, I mean."
"So not a problem," mumbled Buffy to herself. "Um...why no smoochies?"
"I'll explain later. But...hey, don't worry. It's not like you'll fall asleep before tonight. Buffy, I really have to get to class," frowned Tara, glancing at her wristwatch.
"Okay. If you have time later I'm having the gang over for dinner tonight. Why don't you come?" asked Buffy.
"Thanks. I'll, I'll think about it," shrugged Tara.
"Oh. Sorry, I didn't mean to...I mean, Willow will be there and I know..."
"I'll think about it," interjected Tara. Buffy nodded
Tara wanted to leave but hesitated and Buffy gave her a questioning stare.
"Buffy, about...just remember what I said. If your lips feel tempted, think of...Willow!" squeaked Tara, suddenly noticing the redhead standing in the doorway.
"Think of...oh!" shouted Buffy. "Willow, you're back early!"
"My class was canceled," said Willow slowly, her eyes darting back and forth from Tara to Buffy.
"Oh," smiled Buffy awkwardly.
"Tara...why are you wearing Buffy's baseball cap?" asked Willow warily.
"My...oh, her hair was wet since she didn't have time to dry it and so I offered and, and...she took me up. On my offer," added Buffy.
"What she said," nodded Tara. "Never know who you might run into."
Willow raised her eyebrows.
"Tara, why are you here? I thought you had class," said Willow.
"I do. And if I don't leave now I'm going to be late so...I'd better go," nodded Tara again.
"But..."
"Tara was helping me. We were, we were...doing spells together," announced Buffy.
Willow's eyebrows moved up a little higher.
"Well, not actual spells," said Tara. "Buffy's not..."
"Not what?" asked Willow, hands on her hips.
"A witch," answered Tara, taken aback. "I was just telling her some simple commands that could interrupt a spell. If she heard one. Being cast, that is. You know, power words."
"And I couldn't ask you because, well, magicks, ya know? Wouldn't want to rub your nose in it. And you're doing so good Will. Tara, you should be real proud of her," said Buffy.
Tara tried to smile but couldn't.
"I'd better...bye," she said, quickly leaving. Willow looked down as Tara walked by her.
"Call me," yelled Buffy, not getting an answer.
"If your lips feel tempted?" said Willow, not looking up.
"Oh, um, right...lips...form words and you pronounce words, so Tara was just making sure I pronounced the words correctly. With my lips. Could be a disaster if you said the wrong thing and messed up a spell. But you know all about that," said Buffy, forcing a laugh.
Willow looked up with a hurt look on her face.
"Oh! Not that you...I'm sorry, you know what I mean. Hey I've got to go shopping. Need some grapes and apples and pears for later, thought we'd have everyone over after trying on the dresses, go the cheese and cracker routine. I invited Tara. Maybe she'll come," smiled Buffy encouragingly.
Willow nodded but didn't smile.
"So...gotta go. See ya in a bit," said Buffy.
"Bye," replied Willow as Buffy left. She stood there for a moment, staring at the bed.
"Grapes and apples and pears, oh my! Forbidden fruit metaphor?" sighed Willow. "Why did I cut that class anyway?"
She took her cap off, held it in her hand for a moment, then walked to her room.
*****
Tara walked quickly, her eyes on the sidewalk, and only glanced up every so often to watch for traffic. Approaching a street corner, she noticed a large raven perched in a tree to her right. She smiled, appreciating the beauty of the bird, and watched it as she walked past the tree.
Tara's smile faded as she watched the raven. It followed her, slowly turning its head to keep her in sight, its unblinking eyes never once looking away. Tara turned her head and walked just a little faster until she reached the corner and stopped, looking back over her shoulder. The bird was gone. She searched the surrounding trees and even turned completely around, looking up at the sky. But the raven was gone. She took a deep breath, turned, looked both ways and crossed the street.
Laughing to herself for being startled by a bird, Tara went back to watching the sidewalk. She glanced at her watch and was satisfied that she could make her class in time, always hating to be late for anything. Still smiling, she looked up as she came near the next street corner. And she stopped smiling. Tara forced one foot in front of the other and slowly kept moving, keeping her eyes on a raven that was perched atop the stop sign next to her. Even more disturbing was that because of its size, Tara suspected this was the same bird.
Like before, the dark bird slowly turned its head, staring at her as she walked past. She was not more than three feet away but the raven bravely didn't fly away. Its beak was open and Tara flinched when it made a clicking sound with its tongue. Wide-eyed, she didn't dare take her eyes from it and was about to mutter a protective ward when the sound of a car horn made her jump. The driver yelled something at her and she screamed as the car went by in a blur. Without realizing it she had stepped into the street and had almost been hit by the car.
Tara looked up at the stop sign. The raven was gone.
*****
"Buffy, you said we were having something different to eat tonight," said Dawn, standing in front of the open refrigerator. "So...where is it? More importantly, what is it?"
"I'm going to cook on the grill outside. You know, barbecue?" said Buffy as she sliced an apple.
"Barbecue what?" asked Dawn suspiciously.
"I brought some hamburger patties and chicken home from work," replied Buffy, stifling a yawn.
"Buffy! That's all we ever eat!" winced Dawn.
"Yeah, but I'm cooking it here so it's...different," suggested Buffy. Dawn let out a deep sigh.
"At least we're having shrimp cocktail. Guess I could fill up on that," said Dawn, looking back into the refrigerator. "Um...I see the cocktail sauce...where's the shrimp?"
"We're having poor man's shrimp cocktail," explained Buffy.
"Poor man's...I'm afraid to ask," cringed Dawn, shutting the refrigerator door. Buffy reached into the sink and held up a head of cauliflower.
"You've got to be kidding me," moaned Dawn.
"Hey, put enough cocktail sauce on it and you'll never taste the difference. Wanna help?" asked Buffy cheerfully.
"Sure," agreed Dawn, her shoulders sagging in defeat as Xander and Anya walked into the kitchen.
"Hey guys! What's cooking?" asked Xander.
"Don't ask," complained Dawn, washing the cauliflower in the sink. "Too bad Willow couldn't twitch her nose or say sis-boom-baa or something and conjure us up some real food."
"Dawnie, you know she's on the magic wagon, so to speak," reminded Xander as he stole a slice of apple from under Buffy's half-hearted glare.
"Besides, sis-boom-baa isn't a real spell," corrected Anya.
"I only meant...," began Dawn.
"It's the sound of a sheep exploding," smiled Anya, stealing a slice of apple.
Dawn turned off the water, grinning but not sure if she should laugh at the joke or be afraid.
"And I know from exploding sheep, let me tell you," nodded Anya. "There was this shepherd, oh, way back when. Well, he was a shepherd until I turned him into a sheep. Ironic. And funny...at the time."
"Honey, that's abominable! Poor sheep," laughed Xander uncomfortably and reaching for another apple slice but getting a warning slap on the wrist from Buffy.
"No, a bomb in a bull would be an exploding dairy product...though I guess you can't get milk from a bull," said Anya, tilting her head in thought.
"I don't know, but you might get one happy bull," added Xander.
"Exploding cows? That's an udder disaster," said Dawn, trying not to laugh.
"I knew it!" yelled Buffy.
"Knew what?" asked Xander.
"This is hell. I came back, and I'm in hell. Enough with the barnyard humor already!" begged Buffy.
Dawn giggled and put the cauliflower on the counter, glancing out the window over the sink as she did.
"And don't mention magic in front of Willow. She's doing really good. Oh, and hats. Don't mention hats," added Buffy.
"Hats?" asked Anya.
"Trust me," replied Buffy, rolling her eyes.
"Oh, Russell is here!" said Dawn excitedly.
"Russell? You invited a boy from school over?" asked Buffy, peering out the window over Dawn's shoulder.
"No, silly! Russell is a crow. Russell crow, get it? He's been hanging around here the past few days. He's not afraid of people. I mean, you can almost walk right up to him and he doesn't fly away. I'm trying to get him to eat some bread but he doesn't seem interested," shrugged Dawn. "See, he's up in that tree."
"Yeah. But how do you know that's the same bird?" asked Buffy, quickly losing interest.
"Or how do you know it's a he? Maybe he's a she. Not that it makes a difference from a feeding standpoint, but how do you tell the difference?" asked Anya.
"Well, you need to see two of them together. Then the one that's cawing at the other one would be the female," said Xander. Anya and Buffy stared at him menacingly.
"Xander, are you saying that I nag you?" demanded Anya.
"What? No! Of course not," grinned Xander nervously. Just then Willow ran into the kitchen.
"Buffy! There's something you should see!" said Willow, nodding back at the television in the other room. Everyone followed her back into the living room.
"Police aren't releasing the name of the victim yet, but it's believed that she was a student at the University of Sunnydale. Though she was found not far from campus in an area frequented by the homeless, foul play, while not being ruled out, is not suspected. From the puncture wounds on her throat an attack by a wild animal is speculated as being the most likely cause of death, sometime late last night."
"I know those woods," said Buffy, her eyes fixed on the television. "The cave where I found Adam is very close by."
"You thinking vampire? So why don't we go have a look. If I drive, we can be back in time for you to cook," said Xander.
"Sounds good. Nothing like a little slaying to warm up the old appetite," said Buffy happily.
"Oh, I need to grab some bridal magazines from the car first," said Anya, already heading for the door.
"Meet you outside," said Xander, nodding to Buffy.
"Be right there. I need to grab a stake," answered Buffy.
"Buffy, this is terrible. What are we going to do?" winced Willow, keeping her voice low.
"Um, I gonna make a quick sweep, see if I can find this vamp holed up in the area..."
"No! I mean about the dresses! Have you ever seen...and the color...come on, what was she thinking? Was she thinking at all?" whined Willow.
"I kinda liked the color," shrugged Dawn. Both Buffy and Willow looked at Dawn. Buffy seemed surprised. Willow looked frightened.
"Hey, it's her wedding and we have to make Anya happy. Those two are stressed out enough as it is without us complaining. Have you seen how much Xander's been eating lately? He'll never fit into his tux!" sighed Buffy.
Willow and Dawn glanced at one another but Willow still frowned.
"Besides, it's not like we'll ever wear them again, right?" tried Buffy weakly.
"Oh, I don't know. That dress might come in handy if I, say, have to raise someone from the dead again?" pouted Willow, her voice heavy with sarcasm.
"Okay, I'm back," announced Anya, looking at the magazines in her hand. "That Xander! He must've got one of his sport magazines mixed in with my stuff. Well, Willow might like this one. It's the swimsuit issue."
Anya held it up, smiling, and Buffy grabbed it from her hand.
"You know, I need a new suit. Maybe I'll find something I like in here," said Buffy, flipping through a few pages. "Oh, Willow, what do you think?"
Willow leaned in and nodded her approval.
"She's cute," smiled Willow, watching Buffy out of the corner of her eye to gauge her reaction.
"Hmm, you know, she is! Killer abs, too. But what about the suit?" asked Buffy.
"Um, Buffy? Vampire. Xander. Car," said Dawn.
"On it," nodded Buffy, embarrassed. She handed Willow the magazine and walked away.
Willow looked at the girl in the swimsuit and then looked back at Buffy as she ran upstairs. Dawn gave her a puzzled look and Willow smiled awkwardly at her as she closed the magazine.
*****
Buffy yawned again and Xander frowned at her.
"Sorry."
"Huh?" asked Buffy, her hand still over her mouth.
"I must be boring the hell out of you. That's the third, no, fourth time you've yawned since we left," teased Xander.
"It's not you. You're anything but boring, Xander. I just didn't sleep good, I guess," said Buffy.
"Well, here we are. Does sleepy girl want some backup?" asked Xander.
"Nah. I can handle one vamp even if I'm sleepwalking. Besides, this won't take long. The Initiative sealed off their tunnels and this cave really isn't that big."
"Take this just the same," said Xander, reaching into his glove compartment and pulling out a flashlight. He handed it to her.
"Thanks," smiled Buffy, trying her best not to yawn again.
*****
Tara closed the musty smelling book and glanced back at another that was open on the table in front of her. She reread a paragraph again and glanced over at the phone on the wall with a frown. After searching through a few books her fears that Buffy was facing something supernatural diminished but yet something bothered her about what had happened. Still, better to be safe than sorry. Tara got up and almost made it to the phone when she glanced at a photo of her and Willow on her desk. She smiled, recalling the moment when the photo was taken.
Remembering Buffy's invitation, Tara ignored the phone, grabbed her jacket and headed out for the Summers home.
*****
Buffy swung the flashlight around in an arc, then brought it back slowly, looking down at the dirt of the cave floor. She could still see without the aid of the light as she wasn't that far from the mouth of the cave but she needed the flashlight to look for clues, little hints that something was out of place. Like darker marks in the disturbed dirt, a trail that would reveal that someone had recently walked in here. Buffy knelt down, touching the damp earth.
She crumbled the dirt between her fingers, but instead of concentrating on the task before her, she thought of Spike. Spike had been here. And she had found him when she had been looking for Adam. Spike would've wanted Adam to kill her, would've done it himself if it hadn't been for the chip. But that was then. Now...she knew that should bother her, but somehow it didn't.
Buffy let the earth fall from her fingers and wiped her hand on her pants as she stood up. She yawned and followed the trail deeper into the cave. It was darker here. Much darker. Buffy took another step and pulled the stake from her back pocket but keeping her hand out of sight behind her.
She was no older than fifteen, maybe even fourteen. Younger than Dawn, thought Buffy. The girl sat with her back against the cold stone, her arms wrapped around knees as if to keep warm. Her eyes were red from crying...and she looked scared. Very scared. Buffy knelt down slowly, keeping the flashlight on her face. So young. It was easy to imagine what had happened. The girl was a newbie, alone, lost, not yet even fully understanding what had happened to her. Probably had been caught out in the open with daylight only moments away, she had sought shelter here.
Driven by hunger, she had attacked that student. Driven by the approaching dawn, she had tried to hide. Buffy could almost feel pity for the creature. Almost. The girl shivered and looked away from her. Buffy knew she wasn't cold. She was hungry.
"I understand what you're going through, what's happened. And I want to help," said Buffy softly.
"You can't help. No one can," spat the girl, still not looking at her.
"Yes, I can. But you have to trust me," said Buffy, putting the flashlight down by her side, the light now highlighting the girl in shadow, her skin seemingly even paler now. Yet this only made her more vulnerable...almost human.
She looked up at Buffy, her eyes wanting to believe what she had been told. She bit her lower lip and shivered as a chill again gripped her small body. Yes, she wanted to believe, wanted to be held, comforted...she needed this and yet again looked away.
"What's your name?" whispered Buffy.
The girl swallowed once and hesitated, as if it was an effort to remember who she was. Who she had been.
"Sarah," she whispered in reply, still not looking at Buffy. And then she repeated her name again, only a little louder, as if she remembered, as if she believed what she had said.
"Sarah," she answered, turning her head, her mouth almost allowing a smile.
Buffy smiled for her.
"I'm sorry," winced Sarah.
Sarah sprung forward and knocked Buffy onto her back. The Slayer had been prepared for this, had expected it and yet was a breath too slow in reacting. The stake slipped from her hand as she wrestled with the vampire on top of her. Sarah growled, her human face gone, morphed into her demon visage. The vampire's fangs almost reached Buffy's neck before she shifted her weight and rolled them both onto their sides.
But the vampire held on.
Buffy tried to elbow her in the face but Sarah easily blocked the blow. Her hands grasped Buffy's throat and squeezed. The Slayer held her wrists but was unable to pull the vampire's hands free. Amazed at Sarah's strength, Buffy kneed her in the groin, loosening her grip enough for Buffy to break free, adding a head butt as she rolled away. Buffy tried to stand but the vampire was quicker...and actually lifted Buffy up to slam her into the wall, knocking the wind out of her with a gasp.
Wincing, Buffy tried to push off, expecting her to go for her neck again. Instead Sarah backhanded her across the face and brought her knee up hard into Buffy's stomach. Buffy managed to hold on as she doubled over, pulling the vamp down with her. But Sarah slapped Buffy's hands aside and rolled, springing up into a crouch, turning to glare at Buffy, now on her back and looking up in pain. Saliva drooled from the corner of Sarah's mouth as she smiled.
Just for a moment the vampire's eyes opened wide in confusion. And then she exploded into dust. Xander now stood over Buffy, stake in hand. He didn't smile as he extended his hand to help Buffy up.
Buffy just lay there, staring up at him, trying to catch her breath.
"What happened?" asked Xander, lowering his hand but kneeling down beside Buffy.
"I...I don't know," winced Buffy, struggling up into a sitting position. "She hadn't been turned that long ago. She was hungry and, and weak. I should've kicked her ass but she was quicker than me!"
"And perhaps a tad stronger?" teased Xander, awkwardly trying to ease the tension.
"No. She wasn't stronger, I was weaker. I'm not just tired, Xander. I, I wasn't reacting fast enough. What the hell is going on?" sighed Buffy.
"Maybe you're coming down with something. I know, a little food will make you feel better. Let's talk about it over dinner, okay?" smiled Xander.
Buffy nodded but didn't smile.
*****
Willow answered the door and her eyes lit up when she saw that it was Tara standing there.
"Tara!" smiled Willow. "You made it. Buffy said that you might come over but I didn't...I mean...um...hey, you look great!"
"Thanks. You..."
"Thanks."
"...too," finished Tara awkwardly. "Um...is Buffy here?"
"Uh, no. She had to go out. With Xander," explained Willow, no longer smiling. "But she'll be right back. Why don't you come in?"
Tara nodded but still stood there, trying not to show how uncomfortable she was being alone with Willow. With a sigh Willow stepped aside so that Tara wouldn't brush close by when she walked in. Nervous herself, she didn't pick up on Tara's discomfort.
"I don't bite," said Willow, encouraging Tara to move.
Tara smiled and came in.
"Well, unless you ask nicely," added Willow with a straight face. She turned and walked into the kitchen without watching for Tara's reaction. Dawn waved hello from behind Willow. Tara waved in return but she turned back to shut the door so that Dawn wouldn't see her blush. As Tara reached to shut the door Xander pulled up in front. Buffy opened her door even before the car came to a full stop.
Willow looked back over her shoulder, wondering why Tara hadn't followed her in. And then she saw Buffy. Dawn noticed Willow's shoulders slump and, unsure of what to do, tried to look busy. Buffy stopped at the door and smiled, happy to see Tara. Tara whispered something to her that Willow couldn't hear and Buffy, though still smiling, reluctantly nodded. Buffy glanced over at Willow and it was her turn to look busy in the kitchen.
"Um, Willow? I already washed those," said Dawn, nodding at some celery sticks.
"Well, you know, you can never be, um, too washed, right? I mean, what with all the pesticides they use nowadays," said Willow. "Nope, you can never be sure..."
Dawn watched Willow as she held the same piece of celery under the faucet, slowly turning it over and over in her hand under the running water. Willow watched them out of the corner of her eye, turning the same celery stick over and over in her hand under the running water. Then Buffy stopped smiling. Tara whispered something else and she and Buffy both turned to look at Willow. Wide-eyed, Willow quickly looked away. Tara spoke to Buffy again, softly but not in a whisper.
"Hey, Tara! Glad to see you could make it," greeted Xander as he walked past. "Excuse me, ladies, but I have a date with a grill to keep."
"Thanks, Xander," said Buffy. She waited a moment for him to get out of earshot. "Tara, you want to go upstairs? I don't want the others to..."
They both their heads turned as the celery Willow was holding popped from her hands and fell to the floor. Dawn raised an eyebrow at her but Willow didn't look in her direction. In fact, Willow didn't move other than to turn the faucet off.
"I guess. But Buffy...I...I'm having, I mean, I'm uncomfortable with keeping this from Willow. We're trying to be honest with one another and, and I think she should know. We should tell her," nodded Tara.
"Not about..."
"No! No, of course not. I wouldn't...it's just...I mean, Willow and I, we're trying not to keep secrets from one another and, and this is really bothering me," winced Tara.
"It is?" asked Buffy.
"Oh, not the...not that," hinted Tara. "Just the keeping secrets from her part."
Buffy took a deep breath and gently then put a hand on Tara's arm.
"I'm sorry. With all that's been happening, I really hadn't thought about how this might affect her. Or you and her. Together. Not that you're together at the moment. Still, that doesn't mean I can...oh, I'm a bad friend," whined Buffy.
"No, Buffy, you're just, um, confused," comforted Tara.
"Willow! Can you come over here?" called Buffy.
Willow reached down and picked up the celery stick, tossing it back onto the plate with the rest of the celery. Dawn stared at her as she walked away, more than confused.
Willow stood in front of Tara and Buffy but didn't say anything. Buffy noticed that she was looking at her hand...which was still on Tara's arm. Buffy quickly let go and was about to speak when she noticed Dawn looking at them.
"Let's go outside, okay?" suggested Buffy, drawing a frown from Dawn. She turned and Willow followed her out onto the front porch. Tara shut the door behind them.
"Let's sit down," suggested Buffy, taking a deep breath. Tara sat down but Willow hesitated before taking a place between Buffy and Tara.
"So, where do we begin?" asked Tara, looking at Buffy as a cue for her to start.
"Willow, Tara and I, well, we...okay, not we. I. I've been keeping a secret from you. But I only did it because I didn't want to hurt you. Or get you upset," added Buffy, glancing at Tara. Willow sat there, eyes unfocused, not looking at either of them.
"This is so...Will, I feel really bad that I didn't tell you. Going behind your back like this..."
Willow sat up a little straighter but still didn't look at Buffy.
"You...you told Tara...but not me?" said Willow, looking everywhere but at Buffy or Tara.
"Willow, think of this from Buffy's point of view," said Tara.
"Think of what?" asked Willow, a little louder than she intended. She brought her hands together in her lap and began to rub her thumbs against one another.
"I had a dream. More than one, actually, about...about someone. It was so real, so vivid, I, I thought a spell was being used. Now I'm not so sure," said Buffy, again glancing up at Tara. Willow stopped rubbing her thumbs together.
"Buffy thought I might be able to detect a spell if it was being used on her. Which I probably could, of course. But since it involved magic..."
"I didn't want you involved," finished Buffy.
"Oh," nodded Willow, finally glancing at Buffy.
"You've been doing so good, why tempt you with something you can't have?" smiled Buffy.
Willow wrinkled her eyebrows together and looked away again.
"I thought an incubus might be involved. And there is a spell I can cast that would probably reveal its presence. But after what Buffy told me, I'm not so sure it is an incubus," frowned Tara.
"Why?" asked Willow, relaxing a little.
"Well, the incubus does come to someone in their sleep, but it's usually very unpleasant, more of a nightmare than a dream. He, um, forces himself upon his victim," said Tara carefully.
"And in my dream, well, first of all, nothing happened. Not even a smooch. And he insisted I tell Tara about...what happened," continued Buffy.
"An incubus wouldn't do that. It might threaten its victim with harm if they sought out help. Or the encounter might've been almost impossible to remember, suppressed until the memory was triggered by something later on," explained Tara.
"Oh. That's your secret? I knew something was going on. You two were, well...way obvious," laughed Willow. Buffy put an arm around Willow's shoulder.
"I was only thinking about you," said Buffy, giving her shoulder a squeeze. Willow leaned her head on Buffy's arm and smiled.
"Still, wouldn't hurt for me to do the spell. If there's no incubus, what harm could it do?" asked Tara.
"True," nodded Buffy.
"Want me to spend the night? If we kept the door closed, Willow wouldn't be able to hear what was going on in the bedroom. Still, she'd have to be a good girl and promise not to listen in," grinned Tara.
Willow sat up and eased herself from Buffy, trying to keep from looking at either Buffy or Tara. But Buffy wasn't looking at Willow. She was thinking of Giles, thinking that she had to talk to him again. Needed to see him again. And again she remembered that hurt look in his eyes.
"Um...I don't know, Tara. Why don't we wait? Let's see if I have another dream tonight first, okay?"
"You sure? It won't..."
"Yeah. I'd rather wait. No magic in the house unless it's absolutely necessary," said Buffy, patting Willow's back. Willow nodded and smiled in return. "Tara, why did you tell me not to kiss...him?"
"Oh, once an incubus makes physical contact, especially of the, er, intimate kind, it has more control over its victim. Like a thrall. Like..."
"Dracula," nodded. "Gotcha."
"Just let me know if you change your mind. Need a spell done, I'm your girl," laughed Tara as she stood up.
"You're leaving? Aren't you hungry?" asked Willow, looking up.
"I'd better go. I still have to try on that dress and I've got some homework to finish up. But I meant what I said before."
Willow obviously didn't remember.
"Call me. We'll talk," reminded Tara, getting a weak smile from Willow. "Oh, how are the dresses? Did you like them?"
"Um, you need any help in the kitchen, Willow? It's getting late and I bet everyone's hungry," said Buffy, standing up.
"Help? No, I...oh, uh, actually I do. Need help. Celery. We have celery to wash!" said Willow, slapping a hand to her forehead as she stood.
"But, what about..."
"I'll call you," promised Willow, pulling Buffy into the house behind her by the hand.
"Bye," managed Buffy.
Tara began to wonder about the dresses.
*****
Even though Buffy had never dialed the number she knew it, could recite it without hesitation. She had placed the paper he had written it on in a drawer, had refused to even look at it for a week after he left. That piece of paper was still there, somewhere in the back of the drawer, but Buffy only kept it because she liked his handwriting. Or at least that's what she told herself.
Buffy didn't hesitate when she picked up the phone. She had made her mind up about calling Giles even before last night. She just...hadn't found the right time. There was a pause after she hit the last number and Buffy wondered if she had dialed correctly but then the phone rang. And rang.
After twenty rings she hung up the phone. She glanced at the clock. It was late over there. Very late. Giles should be home. Or maybe he knew it was his Slayer that was calling and he didn't want to talk to her. Shaking her head, knowing she was being foolish, Buffy walked past the kitchen door to turn the light off.
She could go out. Dawn wouldn't even know. And he would be waiting for her. As he always was. And she always went to him. She looked out into the backyard, into the darkness of the night.
With a sigh Buffy went upstairs to get ready for bed.